Today, you will read about
- how my husband inspired me to be a kinder person
- my "new" limiting belief
- A mantra for Kindness and Worthiness
Photo by Dee @ Copper and Wild on Unsplash
Lemons = sourness, discomfort, struggles, challenges
I don't know about you but when life throws me lemons, I look inwards.
I didn’t start out this way though, and it took time and I’m still learning and growing.
But the universal truth is that one cannot control the outcome nor control what happens in the future or expect to change another person or a difficult situation. But I know that we have the power to choose again - and we can choose to change ourselves, the way we think, the way we behave or react towards others and be the person we want to be.
When I look inwards - I want to say I’m trying to fix my life, but it's not really fixing but more of tweaking what's inherently good within me and in doing that, healing parts of myself that has never been taken care of, so that I can create a life that I want regardless of the outcome.
When we look inwards, we are nourishing our hearts and minds, and that will spark the essence of kindness and self-compassion that is innate within each one of us. We just need a little reminder, a reminder to be kind.
And Kindness is one of my main core value in life.
I can't tell you exactly when I discovered this but the idea started becuase of my husband. I was and continue to be inspired by my husband's ability to give to others without expecting anything back.
I grew up with my dad telling me that we shouldn't ask others for help because they will expect something back. And being in a dynamic of a big family, evidence did show up, though obscurely, and I begin to see it in others. So I had fear of asking for help and so it became - I was also reluctant to help and do things if I don't see the benefits, and inversely, I see the costs - I don’t see the good.
My husband has a big, beautiful and generous heart, and we did have a few altercations in the beginning of our relationship where I couldn’t understand why he is giving so much, when I don't see the other person giving back. In my mind, I was trying to protect him. In my mind, I thought I was right and do you know what happens, when we want to be right? (Yup, it leads to arguments.)
But my inner self tells that this is my perception and not his. And I got triggered because I didn’t feel safe. Truthfully there’s alot to unpack here, and that’s for another story, for another day.
So I looked inwards. There’s nothing I needed to change about him, and there’s nothing to change about me either. But I’m willing to change the perception or the thoughts I have around that situation.
Kindness also has connection to love, wanting to love and to be loved without conditions.
I mean how can one love with conditions right? But we do albeit unconsciously.
And it hit me when I did my Baptiste Yoga Level 3 training , where I discovered that my relationship with mum is full of conditions, from both sides. I don’t want to live my life like that. I want to have a better relationship with mum. So I worked on myself. I worked on living my life with courage and love.
And that's love for myself, because before I can be kind to others, and love others without conditions, and give without expecting anything back, I need to get out my comfort zone, and work on loving myself more. #WIP
““Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary. Because it’s not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.” ”
Recently, my husband asked me this question- to guess what are his 3 essential rules to living a good life, and my answer surprised me, when I jokingly replied:
To be kind
To be Kind
To be kind
If he has asked me this 4 years ago - I'd say to be happy x 3.
There's no right or wrong answer, but then I've been working on being kind, and I'm discovering that my desire to work on being kind to others, drives me to do the things I do now.
And I do know how to be kind to others, but I found it harder to be kinder to myself. It’s even harder when life kept throwing me lemons.
So I’m working on it in every moment.
Ironically I discovered a few weeks ago, that I have a new negative thought, which keeps coming over and over again, like a broken record.
- that I feel unworthy of serving my community, this community. I’m not sure if what I’m doing is enough. I felt like an imposter.
On one hand, one of my biggest desire is I want to retire my husband, which I cannot do when I spend too much time writing my blogs, and not on my business.
On the other hand, I have no idea where I’m going with my business, or if I’m serving the right community for me? Who am I serve you when I’ve not been successful at what I do (in IVF, in teaching more classes)
If I have a 3rd hand, I am ready to surrender my fears and release my negative thoughts.
Well …… there is a 3rd hand, the hand of god, the universe, the divine.
And I’m going to stop right here, and look inwards, and be kinder to myself. And work on rewriting my words and my story.
But in the meantime, let me share with you a mantra I’ve been repeating to myself every morning:
I am choosing to be kinder to myself today.
I am choosing to see myself in the lens of peace and love.
I am guided. I am protected. I am loved. I am safe.
Mantras are not the magic pill, but it is like you are planting a kinder seed in your mind, which will help nourish the ground for the new story that you are creating for yourself.
And if you want to work through whatever you are going through, or reflect on the words you say to yourself, you can journal on these 2 questions that I found useful, from my Dear Gabby app -
1) Select a fearful thought or limiting belief that you’ve been repeating.
2) Now rewrite your story you’ve been telling yourself, so that it’s in alignment with your desire.
x
