Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash
The month of February is a lot of things - it’s Chinese New Year celebration with a long weekend. Or we could be in a panic mode because “OMG we are already in the middle of February - where did 2024 go? What have we done?”
But I love February for the fact that it's the month of love, and it’s a reminder to me to invite more love into all areas of my life, not only on Valentine's day but every moment of every day.
And it’s so timely that I woke up on Monday and the meditation I listened to from to the Dear Gabby app was about Love, or about “making love a habit.”
And this statement made me sit up straighter in my seat - Gabby said
“We can let love lead our life or we can let fear lead our life.”
I realised that although I would love to think that I chose love over fear, but if I'm honest with myself - fear is my thought leader.
I've been having self-doubts over what I was doing on Instagram and with my business, and if I'm worthy of serving the community when I don't have a success story to tell.
And I’ve been working with my support word “peace” , so when I get triggered, I would always lean towards peace to cope with my anxiety and fear-based thoughts.
This practice worked for me throughout my IVF journey that helped keep me sane.
I would avoid things that disrupt my peace of mind and I'd go on a social media detox, or I say no to social activities.
And sometimes when I have to make a decision that doesn’t give me any peace, I would choose courage over comfort, which is my favourite quote from Brene Brown. and I learnt to surrender more.
With fear, there’s shame connected to it, but we have to remind ourselves that it’s okay to be afraid and not be afraid of fear. Being afraid means you care deeply about something and while it’s definitely easier to choose fear, but it’s possible to create practices to undo fear-based patterns and thoughts to create space for love.
And before Gabby, I have already cultivated my own soothing pracfice of choosing peace over my fear-based thoughts - which had been working for me thus far.
But I question myself - when I chose peace, when did love disappear from the equation? Or was it always there? Or did I unconsciously stopped leaning towards love?
I started looking at my fear-based behavior, or as some of us would call it - our coping mechanism. For example just this weekend - I didn’t go on Instagram, but instead I was mindlessly playing games THE WHOLE DAY. And usually, what came next is binge reading and the last time I binge-read for a week!!!!
Read my binge reading story here:
https://www.sophiexsanders.com/blog/at-home-self-care-practices
https://www.sophiexsanders.com/blog/2023/yoga-off-the-mat-for-sleep
I would then be reminded by my husband indirectly, when he stops nagging at me to go to sleep - because he’s so attuned to my mood that he would realised that I was worried about something before I did.
This moment here, before I jumped straight into the abyss of the trashy novel world, is my AHA-moment!
Gabby’s message reminded that although I have been leaning towards peace in my life - the fear was still ruling behind the scenes.
Peace should equate to love right? It should but perhaps I needed this reminder to be intentionally about choosing to see love.
The irony is that every morning, I’ve repeating to myself this mantra prayer:
I choose to see from the lens of love and peace
My aha moment was of me choosing a practice of love (and peace) which is journaling, and stopped my negative thoughts in the tracks.
I mean recover eventually, but its a win that I become aware of fear-based patterns earlier.
Gabby says this - Every subtle shift from the choices we make to change our thoughts, can add to massive changes in our life.
So that’s my lesson to myself and if this resonates with hyou- ask yourself this question:
Do you lead your life from a place of love or do you lead your life from a place of fear?
Be honest!
And if you want to lean towards love in every aspect of your life, cultivate a willingness to see from a lens of love, peace and compassion.
Everytime you practice self-care , when you meditate , when you carve out time to do yoga - you are leaning towards love.
We may not have loving thoughts all the time and negative thoughts will always come through every single day. And the inner work is being aware of the fear, without judgement.
Pause and ask yourself:
How can I support myself from a place of LOVE and PEACE?
We can let love lead our life or we can let fear lead our life.
What would you choose today?