Is this you?
You are above 35
You feel a sense of urgency because the chances of achieving the family of your dreams can be seemingly out of reach.
Your doctor says you are too old or your eggs are too old
You want to move forward and believe that you can get pregnant but there is this self-sabotaging voice that says it'll never work out.
Yet you still still move forward despite the fears and worries but the fears cause you so much anxiety.
You are afraid its too late to have your own child
Then this post is for you!
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash
Most of you know that I was 40 when I started IVF and I still struggle with the fact that I'm older.
The universal truth is we can't run away from the fact that as we get older, the quality and the quantity of our eggs decline.
And I've learnt to accept that and in accepting that, I've forgiven myself and I have this an innate belief that I'm worthy of miracles. That has always been my prayer mantra which made me feel safe and kept me moving forward.
It’s not an easy thing to keep giving up the fears of age and time! It comes up all the time, even when I’m not TTC, for the primary reason that we, as humans never stop thinking.
There is a study that said our mind wanders 47% of the time, and and when the mind wanders it tends to wander to negative thoughts, and we get stuck in past stories. and a wandering mind is not happy because "47% of waking hour is spend thinking of what isn’t going on."
But the good news is you do have the power to get out of your head and into your heart.
And one way you can do that is by…
JOURNALING
When we journal, it allows a different part of consciousness, rather than internalising in the head.
There'll be 4 journaling prompt that will require you to dig deep and to do some inner work.
Are you ready to look beyond your age and see what's possible?
If it's a yes, grab you your journal and a pen. There are 4 questions and for each question, set an alarm of 1-2 mins. Be curious about y9ur answers amd write them down without judgement or fixing them. Remember they are just thoughts and you are not your thoughts.
Question 1:
Write down any stories, beliefs or fears about age, fertility that you want to release? What do you say to yourself?
I know this exercise is about age and time, but I suggest that you write down as many fears as you have relating to your fertility.
IT may be triggering but the more we deny that our fears exist, the more they are going to have a hold over you, because the thing with negative beliefs and fears is that they unconscious thats why we react automatically when triggered and they will never go away. The only way to take away the power they have hold on us, is by looking at them. Look at them so we can transform them.
Who’s beliefs are this? Where did they come from? What do you say to yourself?
Examples:
I’m broken
I’m too Old
It’s too late
I'm running out of time
My eggs are not enough.
I'm not enough
Shame that I married too late and not to Muslim guy
too old to be a mother
I'm a failure as a wife
That they may suffer because of me
They will not survive
Whats the point
Question 2:
Think of a situation or event, when any of these thoughts or fears came up - what feelings come up? Where do you feel it in your body?
When we tune in to our feelings, it puts into alignment of what you want/desire. In this journey, there is a tendency to get disconnected from our body and our feelings. So it's important to check in with what's coming up for you.)
For example - “I'm running out of time”
I think I was googling for ways to improve egg quality at 1am!
I know it was fear... I can feel my heart beating really fast like it was coming out of my chest. And then it felt like the beginning of a heart burn. And I couldnt sleep.
Question 3:
How do I want to feel if all fears were to disappear tomorrow ?
As mentioned when you acknowledge and put a name to your feelings you can align with what you want or desire - and there;’s much clarity as you show up in your life
For Example
I want to feel l Lighter.. happier…. freer….. positive
4th question:
What new beliefs/energy or ideas about age / fertility (self / body / age) or what’s possible, that you can begin to try on?
What we are creating with this question is creating Empowering Beliefs, which can help to motivate you to do more or simply know that you are enough and can do whatever you put your mind to. It will help balance out the negative beliefs you have of yourself by planting kinder seeds of thoughts and change what you say to yourself about your age and fertility.
Look at the first question, and then choose 1 or 2 fears or negative beliefs that you want to work on, you can work age and time but there's something else that triggers you more, you can work on that to.
So since this post is on age and time, I'll share with you my empowering beliefs for
"I’m too Old
It’s too late
I'm running out of time
MY NEW EMPOWERING BELIEFS / MANTRA
This is my time.
I trust myself, my body and my spirit baby.
I trust in my desire to be a mother
I trust that I’m meant to have my baby when the time is right
I trust in my desire to be a mother
My body is strong enough to support a healthy pregnancy and baby.
I’m capable of creating space for a baby in my life.
Are you ready to create your own? You can use the same or use your own. Remember it's important you cultivate an attitude of non-judgement. It's okay if you don't believe it, trust you are nurturing kinder thoughts in your head.
I hope this is helpful.
Believe it or not, this is yoga, the practice of stilling the monkey mind and finding peace and balance in your life.
And it's the work of inquiry which gives you access to discovering new possibilities.
And The inner work doesn't stop here.
You can always come back to this journaling prompts if you want to work on negative beliefs.
If you wish to explore more about Negative Beliefs and discovering your own Empowering Beliefs, I can offer a free 1:1 30 mins Discovery session.
“During the free session we’ll assess your biggest challenges and lay out a plan for your next steps. Email me at hello@sophiexsanders.com for more information.
