“Did you do any kinda meditation during your fertility journey?”
I asked this question to a few IVF warriors while I was researching for topics to write for the World Meditation Day this Sunday 21st May.
There were a few yeses, but the objections were uncannily the same objections I had when I did my yoga teacher training way back in 2013.
I can't stop thinking
I can't sit still
I don't have the time
It's against my religion
It doesn’t work for me
The question I had to myself? How do I change their mind?
But real question is, why did I change my mind?
In this blog post, we'll explore and debunk these 5 objections/myths to meditation, my why, and also why meditation is essential to improve success in IVF and offer tips on how you can start meditating.
Why NOT Meditate?
I want you for a moment, to suspend your judgement or stories of what meditation really is and think about this:
What if I say, it doesn't require you to stop thinking?
It's a common misconception that meditation requires a completely empty mind.
The truth is, thoughts will naturally arise during meditation. The goal is not to eliminate thoughts, but rather to observe them without judgment and gently guide your attention back to your chosen focus, such as your breath or a mantra.
What if i say that meditation doesn't have to look a certain way?
Traditional yes, meditation requires to sit in an uncomfortable position for a long time.
And yet, meditation can look like you taking a mindful walk, painting, dancing etc ; anything that brings you out of your mind space, and into your heart space.
My meditation used to look like me sitting on my mat for 10-20 mins. But right now, 5 mins of sitting cross legged on my dining room chair - gives me what I need to reset my morning. Taking mini pauses during the day when I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed, clears my mind. I go outside for a walk when I feel stuck.
And my favourite meditation pose, is legs up the wall before bedtime.
What if I say that you can meditate even with little spare time?
It's easy to feel like there's not enough time in the day, especially when you're going through IVF.
But a few minutes of meditation can make a difference in your day. You don't need to meditate for hours on end to experience the benefits. And the beauty is that it can be done anywhere, at any time, and with no special equipment required.
My meditation on busy mornings, looks like me closing my eyes in the hot shower and breathing in. Breathing out. Some days I just close my eyes wherever I am, in bed, in the car , before going to bed at night.
And it 's taking place, right at this moment, as I'm feeling overwhelmed with writing this blog. Breathing in breathing out.
What if I say meditation is universal and does not identify with any religion?
While meditation has roots in spiritual and religious practices, it’s not limited to any specific belief system. Meditation can be approached in a secular and non-religious way, focusing on the mental and physical benefits it provides. It is a tool that anyone, regardless of their spiritual or religious beliefs, can use to cultivate inner peace and well-being.
I can understand why some people will struggle with meditation because of their religion.
I’m a muslim, and initially, I avoided meditation in my yoga practice, and what shifted my mindset, is when I do yoga or meditate, I'm not praying to other religions - I'm doing it for my own peace of mind. Selfishly for me.
And when my heart feels uneasy - repeating my prayers and over again, meditatively, helps ease my mind, and helps me fall asleep with a peaceful heart.
What if I say that if it’s not important, there will be no resistance?
I get it when you say that you did try meditating during your IVF treatment, and because it wasn't successful, you stopped because you feel triggered.
The question is when you were doing it, did you feel at peace?
If yes, don’t you want to feel the same every day regardless of the IVF outcome?
I get it because I stopped too. I was so dejected and tired that I gave up the practice that is important for my mental health.
Eventually I got back on the bandwagon. And even though I did stop listening to fertility meditations when I wasn’t cycling, I did find a meditation that inspires and resonates with my heart.
Meditation is not a magical cure-all, but it works to help you battle the self-doubt, stress, anxiety and overwhelm that often accompany the infertility journey.
Why I Meditate ?
Meditation to me is a form of self care for the mind because it gives my mind- the much needed REST from the doing, the overthinking, the worrying and the planning.
I admit that I do think alot and I’m very good at being busy.
But when you are busy in the doing, your mind is automatically in the stress (fight or flight) mode.
And you meditate, you are creating a safe space for your mind to rest. And REST according to Nicola Jane Hobbs a holistic pscyhologist - is is anything that makes your nervous system feel safe enough for your stress response to switch off.
Why is meditation essential when you are trying to conceive?
Research has shown that stress and anxiety can negatively impact the success of IVF treatments.
Meditation has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety levels, leading to better outcomes for IVF warriors. By incorporating a regular meditation practice into your IVF journey, you'll be creating for yourself, an optimal kind-loving and fertile mindset.
So if you are battling with self-doubt, stress, anxiety, or feeling frustrated and overwhelmed on your IVF journey, meditation is a powerful tool that can help you relax, stay calm, and feel more in control of your emotions during the process.
And you can do that with just a few minutes of stillness into your daily routine .
Plus it’s so much easier than doing yoga because you don’t need much space. But then again, meditation is yoga, because the goal of yoga is simply to still your fluctuating mind.
How to start Meditating
If you are a busy IVF warrior, meditation can seem overwhelming or unachievable, but it doesn't have to be. Meditation can be practiced in as little as a few minutes a day, and it can be done anytime, anywhere.
Setting small goals, such as meditating for a few minutes each day, can help you create a consistent practice. It's also helpful to find a meditation technique that works for you, whether it's guided meditation, breathing exercises, or simply sitting in silence. Don't be too hard on yourself if you miss a day; simply get back on track the next day. Finding a consistent time each day can help you make meditation a habit.
Remember that meditation is a lifelong practice, and the benefits extend far beyond your IVF journey.
So, take a few minutes each day to sit with yourself, be present, and breathe. You'll be amazed at the positive impact it can have on your life and how much more ease and grace you have for yourself as you navigate your IVF journey.
Online 3 days meditation challenge
If you want to start meditating, join me for an online 3 day Meditation challenge on Instagram, starting Monday 22nd May 2023.
For the 3 days, I share with you tips on how you can start meditating right away, How to create consistency in your meditation practice and on the 3rd Day I'll go Live at 8am SGT. Follow me on @bravinginfertility if you want to receive notifications when I go LIVE.
For this meditation challenge, I want to invite you to meditate for 5 mins every day for 3 days. =.
If you've never meditated before, don't worry. Meditation is a practice that anyone can learn, and it doesn't require any special skills or knowledge. And if you've fallen off the bandwagon, here's a chance to get back on it.
If you like more support, I’ve created a 5 mins Affirmation Meditation that you can use for the 3 days.
Click the button below to access the 5 Mins Meditation Download.