Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash
“The only person who can open the door to inner truths and lead you to the light is yourself.”
**Piak piak piak
That’s the sound of me internally slapping myself.
The other day, I was sharing with my sister that I was feeling anxious, and she was also feeling the same. And what came up for me, was this statement in bright neon lights in my head - “We are the Cause of our Own Suffering!"
**Piak piak
It also reminded me of this funny clip with Bob Newhart, which I’ve shared before and it’s worth sharing again.
I acknowledge that I’ve anxiety issues. I hate the feeling because it makes me feel like crap and all the -less you can think of: use-less, help-less, worth-less etc
“Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. ”
I AM the Cause of MY Own Suffering!
Not a new concept but I really recognise the power of the words at that moment.
It made me stop.
To think.
What is the real truth?
The truth is the worries won’t go away. They never do. They always come at the worst possible time. And situation might get worst.
But what can I do about it?
Nothing.
That is the other truth.
When we’re anxious, we’re mostly in our heads - worrying about things that hasn’t happened or are beyond our control.
So why not let it go? Why are we hanging on to the thoughts that is causing us to suffer (in our heads)?
“Rather than fighting (things we cannot change), it’s so much simpler to just accept that we aren’t in control of these things.”
I’m not saying our worries and fears are unfounded. They MATTER. Your story matters.
But if you are suffering, how can you expect the outcome or situation to be different when you don't want to feel different about it?
We are so used to being anxious that it has become our comfort zone. Because we believe nothing will change. Yes, the situation or the person may not change, but WE can change.,
if you don’t want to feel anxious, then don’t. Choose the better emotion. Choose the opposite of what you want to feel.
Choose peace of mind over suffering.
You have the choice to stop your own suffering.
“If you’ve always done what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
”
Yoga Sutra 2.3
In Patanjali’s yoga sutra 2.3 - Avidya-Asmita-Raga-Dvesa-Abhinivesa-Klesah - Patanjali spoke to the 5 Kleshas, which are mental states that cloud the mind and manifest in unwholesome actions.
The translation of the 5 Kleshas that speaks to me are Misperception, Ego, Attachment to pleasure, Aversion to unpleasant experience and Fear of Death.
According to Patanjali, they are the cause of all pain and suffering in the human's experience. And if we dissolve them one by one, we will get clarity, and to the truth, whatever the truth is.
The answer to how? I don’t know. :). I’m working on it, moment to moment. Awareness is the first step.
But right now, every day I choose to stop my suffering by finding joy.
By choosing Joy, it doesn’t mean I’m by bypassing my sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, jealousy, desire, depression etc.
Even if I’m happy, I can be sad at the same time. It’s possible for both emotions to co-exist for me. I want to feel something, rather than being numb.
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash
Today I Choose Joy!
What are you choosing?
You could choose to set boundaries. You could choose to Yes to what you want to say Yes to and No to what you want to say No to. You could choose to meditate whenever you get anxious. Or you could do nothing and continue to struggle. What do you choose?
Ps and If you are catch yourself going down the rabbit hole of mind stuff, it’s okay. Watch Bob Newhart (below) and begin again NEWLY!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I’d like to acknowledge my Sutra Study Group, Seth, Simone and Paige; and my little sister for keeping me present to my own suffering and my joy!