Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash
I’m struggling!
I’m struggling to meditate and journal everyday. I’m struggling to connect with people. I’m struggling to lose weight. I’m struggling to be an inspiring teacher. I’m struggling with getting people to my classes. I’m struggling with marketing and IG. I’m struggling with making a baby. I’m even struggling with writing.
Right now, I've this weird resistance to taking long deep breaths.
I’m in bed, I close my eyes, I try to relax and my heart starts racing. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I sometimes have a feeling like I couldn’t breathe.
My automatic response is to either force myself to meditate or I reach for my phone and numb my brain with my trashing novels to tire myself out so I’ve no choice but to sleep.
Running away and forcing myself to sleep to avoid relaxation? What the?
Doesn’t make sense, does it?
I don’t know what I was afraid of - that I will not be able to breathe or that I won’t get to sleep?
Maybe I was just trying too hard.
And I realised that once I took that FIRST deep breathe in, and another - I stopped struggling.
“Trying hard invites strain and struggle.”
Try Easy
What Baron says about TRYING is
"Don’t Try Hard, Try Easy” from his principles to Stepping up to the Edge.
Trying easy doesn’t mean you do things half-heartedly. It means you are in it, 100% but you use your heart rather than your mind. You use inner strength instead of brute force.
Stepping up the Edge is about getting out of your comfort zone, and facing your fears, and that requires courage. And courage comes from the heart.
What is possible if you stop struggling and just be?
Give up Trying Hard
I know that when I’m trying too hard, I will struggle, because I have hopes, dreams and expectations. And there is also pressure from our peers, parents, society - to be and to look a certain way.
Underneath it all, there is an underlying fear of failure and of looking bad.
With our fears, our lies come up “we are not good enough” and the voice in our head goes “it’s never going to happen anyways.. What if what I say to myself is true? What if I fail? What if I disappoint myself? What if I disappoint others?”
Our lies becomes the truth. And the cycle goes on.
It’s a juxtaposition. Why bother trying when our inside voice is already self-sabotaging us?
I’m not telling you to give up trying, but to give up trying -hard. And maybe the voices will get quieter.
We won’t get anywhere if we don't put in effort. And i know we want to get somewhere, be somewhere, be someone…….
Take that damn breath
So the takeaway??
I’m never gonna stop struggling.
And that's Okay. I can stop struggling to try everything on my to-do list, and just try easy. Because right now, I can.
I’m going to embrace my struggles! I’m going to be friendly with them. And I will always try and take that first life-giving breath in, and I will breathe out all the struggles, the resistance and the “trying too hard”.
That’s probably all we need to do - BREATH!
We have the power to get OURSELVES out of our OWN WAY and take that first step to access freedom and vitality, whatever it looks like; with no judgement nor attachment to the outcome. The struggle is always going to be there, and you can choose to stop struggling, and try easy.
In the words of Linkin Park;
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
In the end, it doesn’t matter. Just keep on trying and be kinder to yourself, will you?