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“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Baron says that “rather than fighting (things we cannot change), it’s so much simpler to just accept that we aren’t in control of these things.”
The word is SIMPLER, NOT easier.
It is definitely easier to get reactive when we feel out of control like when we spill coffee on our pristine white shirt before an important meeting, we hit a traffic jam, our kids act up.....………
And yet how simple life can be simpler if we learn to relax right in the middle of conflict filled moments.
The way out of reactivity, frustration and stress is to practice equanimity.
“Equanimity is the art of meeting life as it meets you - calmly with an open heart, without drama or fuss.”
Equanimity is letting go of resistance, distraction and resentment when we encounter something uncomfortable and staying even, when every cell in our body wants to run.
Letting go or relaxing doesn’t mean surrendering nor does it mean that you are weak. It’s about having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome.
The truth is as Baron says “Fighting only leads to more struggle.” When you relax, it is an opportunity to see yourself clearly and allow the winds of grace to carry you - your innate ability to be compassionate and kind to yourself.
“Equamimity releases us from unrealistic expectations about what life should be and allows us to stay centred amid the inevitable highs and lows.
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WEEK 3 OF EQUANIMITY Relates to LAWS of Transformation 5 : Shift YOur Vision & LAW 6 : Drop What you know
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“Things don’t change; We change.”
LAW 5: Shift your vision
Develop a heart of Faith & take leap of faith
In law no 5: Shift your vision - Baron says “in life, when we run into obstacles that look like the fault of others, but a closer examination will often show that the obstacles are a mirror of our own hidden barriers. Every time we find ourselves in conflict, we immediately launch into the blindness of resentment and anger. We lose sight of our eye of intuition and lose sight of what’s real.
Yes and No are present in all things. To say yes to one thing automatically means saying no to another. If you do something wrong – if you hurt, you lie, you abuse – you are saying no to what’s right. Saying yes to consciousness and spirit is saying no to ego. Ultimately, through right intention, we have the power to say no to the ego and look through the lens of higher consciousness. To shift our vision means looking at the usual things with fresh eyes. As we start to spiritually awaken, our new vision allows us to see that most of our obstacles are created within our own hearts. Our greatest power to change ourselves is found in our ability to see beyond the veil, to see with an enlightened vision.”
A vision shift calls for attention, intention and faith
Right Attention = Right Energy
What you give negative or positive attention to, you will energise for better or worst.
Right Intention = Energy Flows
When you have awareness of what you need to do, you can direct energy and the universe in that direction
Faith = Believing in the Power of what’s possible, comes from the heart, and not from the head.
We don’t need to know if Moses led the jews through the desert of freedom or if things will change, we only need to trust that “transformation within human(its) is possible.
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. ”
Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash
“Giving up our need to know and to be right creates space for life to unfold.”
LAW 6: Drop what you know
Under Law 6: Drop What You know - Baron says “More education is not always the solution. (Stop studying yoga, stop reading books on personal growth, top looking to the outside for knowledge…… just be the change.) What is needed os a special kind pf awakening that you brings to understand things yourself.
“At a certain point we all need to make the shift from living in our head into to trusting what’s in our heart.
The ego thinks “if I don’t arm myself with an Arsenal of knowledge, I will be inadequate, boring and unprepared. I won’t grow. I won’t know what to do or say, or worst, I won’t do or say it right. So we become dependent on outside knowledge; it becomes a crutch for us. It becomes a compensation for true freedom…. the object is to get ourselves and our stinking thinking out of the way, so we can wake up and grow.”
We need to cast out our self doubt.
Not knowing breaks our need to control and think our way through everything. it is so empowering to be able to say “I don’t know” and lead your life from your heart of faith rather than from your head.
So much of cultivating equanimity is coming to peace with what you do not know and letting go of the need to be right or to control. Answers constrict your growth, and questions open us up to inquiry. Knowing keeps you in a fixed way of thinking and away from what may actually be possible in your life.
“We don’t change by thinking. we change by being and doing with pure intent. ”
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Equanimity is the 3rd theme from the 40 Days to Personal Revolution.
The secret to practice equanimity…………..Mindfulness.
Be mindful
And it begins with the breath…. and the 2nd one and so forth; and being in the present moment, accepting things “as is”, with nothing to do or figure out.
When distracting thoughts arise, just bring your attention back to your breath.
And yes, this is the beginning of a meditation practice, and meditation doesn’t have to look a certain way.
It doesn’t have to be 30 min. It doesn’t have to be in the morning or night. You don’t have to sit still. You can walk, you can paint, you can do pottery, you can yoga, do what you need to do to get present.
It’s all about being mindful of your thoughts and not allowing your thoughts to take you out. You are not thoughts.
Being mindful is an essential practice for our overly busy and sometimes chaotic mind. If you have a constant feeling of being overwhelmed and being anxious, cultivating equanimity in our lives will help you find balance, so you can respond better instead of going on automatic default reaction mode.
Journal
What is likely to trigger you?
How can you respond better?
Where are you willing to drop what you know about other people in your life? What would then be possible?
Where are you choosing to stay stuck that has you not want to give up your fixed opinion?
If you were to shift your vision aka take a leap of heart faith, what becomes possible, with people, with circumstances and with your whole life?
Invitation
For the next 7 days, notice where you are reacting vs responding? - - And for each of the things/story/event/person/emotion that you react to, write them down and complete this sentence:
“When _________ happens I do __________ AND from now on I choose to do ____________.”
“You are the sky, everything else is the weather.”