Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
“When we become centered enough, we have the ability to accept things we cannot change and are able to instantly and humbly admit that our willpower and ego are ultimately powerless over most of the realities in our lives. ”
We all have complaints about other people - your boss, your colleague, your husband, your sister, your mother etc.
Like if only my mother can change … or if only my boss does yoga…, or if only my husband loved me more, why didn’t she invite me to lunch, etc?
They could be complaints voiced out when you’re having drinks with friends or colleagues, which is equivalent to gossip. But most times, these complaints are in our head. Sometimes you may not even be aware that you’re complaining because you tell yourself “they will never change.”
And let’s not forget about being situations which is uncertain and out of your control like the heavy traffic, COVID virus, if IVF is going to work, if you’re going to lose your job etc
When you “complain”, you’re playing the victim. I know you’ll say, it’s just words. But words make your world. When you are in your disempowering thoughts of blame and self-pity - you stunt your emotional growth, strain your relationships which can lead to depression and anxiety.
Obviously you can choose to stay stuck in your stories, OR you can choose to find your center and really dig in and see what’s really underneath those complaints.
Instead of asking how long this awfulness will last…shift to…how do I totally transform?
Baron says that just by declaring "I will become centered”, we become responsible people; we own our lives from the inside. We don't have to wait for others to set us free. As we practice “staying centered”, we discover that we have the capacity to be aware of the little gremlin voices in our head and that we don't have to get caught up in the illusions of our own story.
“You can’t change others but you can change how you respond to situations.”
WEEK 5 OF Centering RELATES TO:
LAW OF TRANSFORMATION 9: Don’t rush the process AND LAW 10: Be true to yourself
“ If we are so fixated to getting somewhere, we will miss where we were.”
LAW 9: DON’T RUSH THE PROCESS
(Everything in life has a natural order and rhythm of unfolding)
In Law 9 - Baron ask that we practice patience. “The path of patience asks you to be okay with what is, stare it straight in the eye, and open to and learn from what’s happening rather than contracting into fear, frustration and the hidden drive to meet your expectations at any costs. We must remember that when everything has to be right, something usually isn’t.
When confronted with impatience or indecisiveness or anxiousness - we usually rush to complete all that we think we must do in order to - get rid of the fog in our head or the expectations of others.
The consequence is usually we create the very scenario that we hope to avoid.
Haven’t you been there when you said yes, where you should have said no, and trusted your gut feeling? And then you find yourself, aggravated because you’re in a situation you can’t get out of, which is of your own doing. And then you said you’re practising patience, but I love what Baron said - Patience doesn’t mean we resign to ourselves to a situation and just endure it. Instead, we can stop resisting and open to something better and take the right action.
Like saying no, when we mean no. Or asking for more time or asking for help.
When we cultivate patience, we learn to be okay with our restlessness and our sense of guilt about not doing enough, and then hopefully we can begin to let these things go.
“Irony of personal growth, is what when we slow down and fully engage in the present , we usually get to where we really want to go faster. ”
Photo by Juan Davila on Unsplash
“If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you need to bring yourself down to a Zero .”
LAW 10: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
(Look within to discover what you know in heart to be right and act on it)
Baron say "Being true to yourself means looking within to discover what you know in your heart to be right and then acting on it.It means being true to your values and morals. It means being honest in all things; knowing the truth, walking by that truth and, living by that truth.”
When we live in alignment of the Truth, our life works.
And we need to learn that the living in our truth is simply living by our conscience. Not about living life the “right” way but to choose to live life with integrity and honesty the best way we can.. It's up to us to choose what we want to honor and hold as important and true in our heart. And then show up and be you!!
In order to live in our truth, we need to be "willing to go against the status quo.”
It's not always easy to go against the grain. People unconsciously hate change, and those who cling to their patterns and beliefs are deeply attached to their status quo. So they to stay in their comfort zone. Even if their comfort zone is causing their suffering. And irony is they are suffering because they are not living in their truth. They are not listening to their hearts.
If what they are doing is not working, or has not been working, instead of complaining, they have to be willing to drop their ego, and what they know, and try something different.
And coming back to the “complaints”; if you fail to speak up or take the right action, and you choose to be “okay” when it’s not okay, you will fall into a whirlpool of despair, numbness and hopelessness.
Baron says, “We are either expressing or repressing, and if we are stuffing down, holding in, and repressing, then that energy will eventually manifest as disease.”
In a relationship, it will cause resentments; on your mat, you may exacerbate an injury. Imagine what these “complaints” do to your mental health when left unchecked.
And the work is not to cause confrontations, altercations or forgive the other person (and anything is possible), but the real work to check in with yourself. What do you really want to make happen?
Transformation is a solitary process because no one else can do it for us. Only we can remove the rocks that blocks us, only we can transform ourselves and the world around us.
“Genuine transformation happens when you disrupt status quo. Your greatest power happens lies in your commitment to your own intuitive way of doing things, regardless of whether others approve or not.”
Photo by Chris Jarvis on Unsplash
Schedule your inner spa moments
Centering is the 4th theme from the 40 Days to Personal Revolution.
For many of us with what’s happening in the world, we are constantly living in the flight-or-flee response system that our nervous system we forget what it be in “resting mode”.
Resting doesn’t mean you’re slacking off - it’s actually your quiet time to be present and get centred.
It’s like a spa for your mind. Some days it may look like talking 10 deep breaths or it might look like booking a massage at the spa. Or simply meditating.
And finding this “inner spa” moment should not be a result of those intense, panic-filled reactive situations, but it should be a norm in your daily lives.
INVITATION
This week, make everything you do a practice of meditative awareness ie when you act, act consciously and with directed intention. Simple day to say activities like brushing your teeth, where (and how) you place your shoes when you come home after work. When you eat, really eat, really chew, really taste, really smell and really feel the food dissolve and nourish your whole being.
JOURNALING
How mindful are you of the smallest details of your days? Are you present to notice where you left your keys? What you told your kids when they ask you a question?
How much do you believe in yourself? Do you trust your intuition?
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew. ”