Photo by Peter Boccia on Unsplash
The National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is this week of 19th-25th April 2020 !!
It was started by RESOLVE, an American non-profit, whose main aim is to help “all people challenged in their family building journey to reach their resolution by being empowered by knowledge, supported by community, united by advocacy, and inspired to act.”
NIAW's mission is to increase awareness of infertility, which affects the reproductive systems of both women and men (1). In general, infertility is defined as the inability of couples to achieve pregnancy after ≥1 year of trying (1). However, given that fertility in women is known to decline steadily with age, some providers evaluate and treat women aged ≥35 years after 6 months of intercourse without the use of contraception (1).
What has it got to do with you?
Perhaps it doesn’t affect you, but it affects the physical, mental and emotional wellness of the 15% who does, and you would never know if your colleague sitting next to you is going through this journey or that lady beside you on the train or your niece?
Infertility is sometimes call the SILENT SHAME because we don’t talk about it. It could be a cultural or religious thing or a childhood trauma - we’re not ready to speak and tell everyone - "HEY I’M INFERTILE. SO SHUT UP ABOUT WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE BABIES.
In fact, it took me 2 years before I had the courage to tell my sisters.
And honestly, we don’t have to share our story to the 85% because it’s none of your business. It’s private, it’s personal and we have the choice as to whom and when we want to tell.
Just be aware that every person that you meet has a story.
And this is what it is - a post is to bring awareness to what affects the 15% of the population, and hopefully remove stigmas, judgements and barriers around the infertility and IVF.
Let’s Begin….
// THE CAUSES OF INFERTILITY
The causes of infertility in a nutshell are:
Age
Low Ovarian Reserves
Endometriosis
Fibroids
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Early Menopause
Low Sperm Count or poor sperm quality
Erectile Dysfunction
Fallopian tube problems
exposure to certain environmental toxins, smoking, and excessive alcohol
Damage due to cancer and its treatment
Being underweight or overweight
Secondary Infertility
“unexplained” infertility
……..
Resources:
Singapore Motherhood Article (03/2017)
// OFFICIAL Numbers in Singapore
In 2019, fertility rate is 1.14 per female (aka average birth per female is 1.14)
Resources:
Singstat #1 - Births & Fertility
About 15 per cent of couples in Singapore are infertile.
In the USA, they say it’s 1 in 8 couples, although Virtus Fertility Centre Singapore, states and I quote that it’s 1 in 6 couples here.
In about 39 per cent of these cases, the cause is female infertility. In 20 per cent, it is male infertility, and in 26 per cent the problem lies with both partners.
Resources:
// Fertility rate for women above the age of 40
The rate of women ages 40-44 giving birth is 9.8 per 1000.
That’s me! Age 40-something. I never thought I’d be one of the statistics.
Let me give you more numbers here:
Female fertility begins to decline after age 30, drops quite rapidly around age 37, and sharply declines after age 40. A 40-year-old woman has a 5 percent chance of conceiving each month and women aged 40-44 who do get pregnant have a 34 percent chance of miscarriage. (Resource: Attain Fertility)
Women are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have, typically 1–2 million. Over time, that healthy egg supply decreases in two ways. First, women lose eggs each month—about a thousand a month after puberty—and by age 35 have only about 6% of their remaining egg count.
by Age 40 she would have 3% of her pre-birth egg supply
By age 40, about 10-15% of her eggs are chromosomally normal.
You do the maths!
And don’t say it! Don’t even think of it.
Because what you’re thinking has kept me at night - then why am I trying to conceive when the odds are against me? Because I can. Because I have hope.
And I know of a few people who are 40 plus and they got kids through IVF. They give me hope.
Do I regret getting married late? No. I believe there’s a time and place for everything. And we got married at the right time.
Would I advocate for women to get married earlier? No, it’s your life, you do what you want with it. And finding the right one does time.. Plus I know of younger women, who also have difficulty conceiving - my doctor loved to say that “Everything is pre-determined” which is true. So it’s up to you challenge the status quo or not.
If I could change one thing, what would it be? I would have frozen my younger eggs, and I wished I was made aware of that possibility.
// WHAT’S MISSING IN SINGAPORE ?
We do have sufficient medical and clinical resources, however, no one talks about the other options to better fertility health like acupuncture, supplements, fertility yoga, meditation, change of diet/lifestyle - we have to go research for it or ask for it.
And their reason is it’s not medically proven.
There’s also limited access and information to other family building options like PGS, adoption, donor eggs, surrogacy, egg freezing etc .
Communication could be improved between the doctors and alternative fertility professionals like TCM docs, nutritionists or naturopaths etc.
Lastly, there's limited financial support for Singaporeans especially those above the age 40; like they are punishing up for finding love late in our lives.
// WHAT’S MISSING IN THE IVF COMMUNITY IN SINGAPORE
mmm…
Brave conversations, Emotional Support and Yoga 🙂
The tagline for NIAW is "EMPOWERING YOU AND CHANGING THE CONVERSATION.”
And what I’m up to is changing the conversation around IVF and infertility within my IVF community .
What I started:
Nov 25th, 2019 - I shared my IVF story
Jan 20th, 2020 - I signed up for a Fertility Specialist Support course so I can learn more about infertility to support my IVF community.
April 13th, 2020 - I created a Singapore COVID-19 Fertility Support Facebook Group for those who’s IVF treatment got disrupted or postponed by the Circuit Breaker and my mission is to bring the attention away from what we cannot do, to what we can do. It’s a private group and if you know of someone who will benefit from it, or if you are that someone, please email me and I’ll send you details.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR ME
Teach Fertility Yoga online
Create meditation podcasts
Take 1-on-1s Coaching
Lead a 6 weeks fertility support program
Lead a workshop inspired by Baptiste Yoga and based on the Social Impact training that I did in the beginning of the year.
Take another Fertility yoga course as soon as I graduate from the first one.
So yeah, I’m doing my part to bring it to my tiny part of the world and hopefully one day, I can proudly bring people together who is a YES to removing stigmas and barriers.
What can you do?
Share this post
If you want to know more about infertility and IVF, you can attend FREE Fertility talks here https://summit.beatinfertility.co
Be mindful when speaking to your friends or family members about these matters around marriage and kids, especially when you have no idea what’s going on in their lives. If you have have nothing good to say, say nothing. There’s nothing to fix, and there’s nothing you can do anyways.
That’s it folks for now.
Any questions, please email or leave comments below.
Love you!!