Baptiste Level 1 Phuket | May 2018
Look - the story behind this picture is that despite my smiley face, at that very moment, I felt awkward, stupid, ashamed and embarrassed.
This happened during my apprenticeship at Level 1 Phuket 2018. I saw a couple of people asking questions and it looked safe, and I thought I’d be safe too, so I put up my hand. I think I said something like “I have difficulty with my twisting triangle because of my scoliosis and I’m not sure if I’m doing it right!”
I totally didn’t not expect Baron to put me in the spotlight, then he asked everybody stop and DUN DUN DUUUN........!! - there I stood feeling vulnerable and self-conscious of - my body, the shape of pose, my socks (why was I wearing socks!!!), berating myself for asking a silly question….
Then in the midst of all that noise in my head, Baron said: ⠀
“Stop trying to do it the right way; You’re not doing it right anyway.”
I don’t know what happened, but magically all the tension went whoosh out of me, and I relaxed into the pose.
What he said was the truth. In my head, I was trying to do it right, to get it perfect, to get a pat on my back…. and in trying to do it right - I was making myself wrong, which showed up in my body.
And I wasn’t wrong either. It’s just my way of doing it, with whatever my body can do at that point in time. I know that. I just needed a kick from Baron to remind that I’m human and I’m not perfect!
“Consider that there is no right way or wrong way in anything that we do, it is just one way. And there is always another way.”
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash
When we stop trying to do it the right way, the ego goes away and we get into a space of “not knowing”.
And this space of “not knowing” is scary. It creates doubt and anxiety.
Yet dropping what we know will give access to being present, to freedom, to courage and possibilities.
How do you know, that what you know is right? And if you already know everything, then what’s the point of being with people or living a life where there is no further growth or knowledge? Where everything is the same, stagnant even?
From his “40 Days to Personal Revolution” book, Baro Baptiste says this:
"We need to cast out our self doubt. When we really let go, suddenly we open up and there is space for new energy and insight; we go from myopic mind to big mind. Giving up our need to know and to be right creates the space for life to unfold. "Not-knowing" breaks us out of our old paradigms, our need to control and think our way through everything. There is such wisdom and healing power in not knowing. The paradox is that if we are really willing to not-know, we will. If you are in the now, you will always know how. You don't need to be an expert to understand this process. It's not intellectual, it's spiritual."
Even if you think you know the answer, the outcome or the ending…… Drop what you know.
You may be in the right and the other person is definitely wrong. You can choose to
a) Do nothing and let it go
Or
b) Fight, argue, make a stand
There is another way…..
…… If you are willing!
c) Give up the need to be right, with every human interaction.
Giving up the need to be right in every human interaction and being in a space of “I don’t know” will open up a new way of listening and being with people.
The people or situation may or may not change. But you would have challenged yourself to change the way you respond - that’s where your power is.
“Being in a space of “I don’t know” and giving up the need to be right will open up a new way of listening and being with people.”