VOGUE Singapore | March 2024
I don’t know whether it’s divine intervention, but this article came at a perfect time!
It’s International Women’s Day and for all the women out there who’s resiliently and bravely, showing up (and waking up) every single day with the opposing feelings of fear and hope - know that you are not alone!
2 months ago I was asked by Shumin, (one of the founders of Fertility Support Singapore), to be interviewed for Vogue Singapore about how l stayed positive on my IVF journey when the outcome is less than ideal.
I was hesitant initially and mainly because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to put myself out there and I didn’t want to disrupt my inner peace.
But I discussed it with my husband. It wasn’t to ask him for permission but he’s a big part of my IVF story - so I wanted to know his thoughts.
And so I was a yes!! Plus all I had to do was send in my answers to the questions via email. Phew!
What do you think of the word “duality”? I was stumped because you know me - I don’t have a flowery vocabulary. But it was in one of the questions.
So in case you are like me, I found the perfect translation from Collins Dictionary -
A duality is a situation in which two opposite ideas or feelings exist at the same time.
I’ve always used the word “opposite feelings” when I talk to my students/ clients to embody how they want to feel instead when they repeat a fertility mantra, that will cope with their negative thoughts.
Who’d knew there was actually a proper term for it!
I learn something new every day!
Thanks Alli! She wrote the beautiful article, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to write like her, or do I entertain any hopes that Vogue will hire me. lol
It’s okay. It’s not my desire to write for a magazine although it be nice to get paid. One day maybe.
And the perfect example of duality at work here:
FOMO vs JOMO!!
AND
You can be happy and sad at the same time
You can also be hopeful and be afraid or be “future tripping” at the same time.
It’s what you do in-between - that will make difference to whether you thrive or just survive your IVF journey.
Anyways, go read the Vogue article online here.
And here is an excerpt in my own words. It was in response to the question of - What does it physically feel like to live the two realities at once? Of hoping, and yet also knowing that you may not get the outcome you want?
“When we started IVF, our first purchase was books on a child’s first year. I also bought a Yoga Mama book and started learning about prenatal yoga,” says Sanders, whose IVF journey started at the age of 40—an age when the odds become statistically diminished. “After our first loss, those books went into the back corner of our drawers. We took it one milestone at a time and did one small empowered action in each moment.”
“‘I am safe. I trust the path that I’m on. I am willing to surrender to the outcome. I choose peace instead of this’.”