Pic Credit: Unsplash / daryn-stumbaugh
What is coming up for me right now is FEAR.
"Stop it Sophie! Level 3 taught you to stop your stories. You know it’s all smoke. It’s not true."
What am I afraid of?
What everyone is afraid of - the future. Of the uncertainties.
I know the solution too well - “Focus on being present. The future has not happened yet. The thing has not happened. I've no control right? So sit tight. Don’t worry.”
These words are my mantra to get myself out of my head.
The truth is the fear never goes away. It waits till you are at your lowest, and BAM!
And the irony is I do know the secret of being fearless, and that is to - JUST DO IT! Stop the stories and do the work.
There is a disclaimer though - Being “busy” doing the work helps to deflect the fear, however I discovered that when busy-ness is used as a coping mechanism, then you need to take a moment to pause.
Ask yourself -
Am I moving myself forward or am I do everything else except for the thing I’m supposed to do?
Hmm.
Another coping mechanism that comes out of doing the work is numbness to what’s actually happening ie you do everything on auto pilot and you say things like “oh everything is ok” when it’s not ok; you feel nothing and you don’t know why. And “it’s not my problem.” So you take yourself out.
When numbness shows up, I ask myself, what I asked myself in the beginning of this post -
“What is coming up for me right now?”
Fear.
Hmm…
Consider if you have NO FEAR.
Yes, just pause for 1 minute and consider that.
Is that possible? Or is it just a bumper sticker or a concept?
I believe that everyone is afraid of something. Even those adrenalin junkies or the high flyers Alphas in the world - bullshit if they are not.
Perhaps their work or family environment does not give them space for vulnerability. Or they’ve done a good job of hiding it or they’ve somewhat learnt to use their fear against others (like the bullies). Or they just don’t want to say they are afraid (ego).
“If you’re not afraid, you’re not living courageously. ”
The original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language - is from the Latin word “cor” meaning heart - and so it means to me facing fear with a lot of heart.
The funny thing is that is I’m not afraid of FEAR itself because I know it has a lot to teach me. I think I don't like the feeling which starts as a gurgling at the back of my throat and I feel like I can’t talk.
And so as they say you need to do what scares you so I do the opposite - talk about it. Be in it. My writing is my talking for right now.
Talking or sharing does help especially if you speak with others who are also “doing the work” “which simply means these people are in the work of inquiry, self-discovery, and is a Yes for new possibilities in themselves and in others.
Or you can speak with a coach or a therapist. Or write.
Speaking to a therapist does not make us damaged goods or crazy. Truthfully we need to have these uncomfortable conversations and it’s easier to speak the truth with a stranger as there tend to be little or no judgement.
They are like a sounding board for you to get your “smoke” out of your system so YOU can figure it yourself.
“You are the source of it all.”
TRUTHBOMB: You are the source of your own suffering. Only you have the power to get yourself out.
Right now, do you know what I’m really afraid of?
I’m afraid that my 40 Days program will not be successful.
I’m afraid that I’m spending money on FB marketing and I have nothing to show for it.
I’m afraid that my blog is going no where.
I’m afraid of losing my readers or my IG followers.
I’m afraid my content is not relevant.
I’m afraid I won’t have any studio to teach after February
I’m afraid that I can’t make my new apartment beautiful.
I’m afraid that I will spend my husband’s money to the ground.
I’m afraid to talk to people.
I’m afraid of another thing which I can’t say in case I jinx it.
There’s more - I’m afraid to voice out my opinion for fear of being scolded, or being rude. Fear of scary movies. Fear of frogs, snakes, slimy creatures. Fear of asking for what I want. Fear of fishes. Fear of doing the wrong thing. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not being good enough wife, mother, daughter, daughter in law, sister, auntie, teacher…..
…these fears are constant and always evolves. I don’t think I’ll ever never stop being afraid.
“Courage isn’t the absence of fear but ability to continue in spite of it. ”
The fact is I am showing up and the work anyways means that I am admitting that fear, and I’m still going to keep on doing the thing. So should you. 😍
“The secret to being fearless is to do the work.”
The more you are inaction, the more fearful you’ll be. The more in action you are, the more fearless you’ll become.
Shall we be fearless together? xoxoxo